we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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