and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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