Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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