I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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