Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
