the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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