I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
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My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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