I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
