On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
