we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
