I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
