Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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