She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
