Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
