No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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