I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize