I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize
