4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize