man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
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Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
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THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Text me some of your sweat
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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