All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Pooping to opera.
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