soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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