you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
