I heard we made out
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize