I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
