You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
