What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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