This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
