drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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