Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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