What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
