im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
