this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
