Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm too high and old for this...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
