i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
