I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
