You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
