Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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