i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
