She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
