I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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