So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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