Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
