I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
