Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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