Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize