Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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