I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
