I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
