i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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