So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
