THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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