I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
