So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
