thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
