In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
