Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This baby is an asshole
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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