Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
